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Morning Note
Today's BRIEFING
Friday, Aug 21, 2026 • ISSUE 449
The Latest

The USS Abraham Lincoln Is Finally Heading Home
The USS Abraham Lincoln left San Diego for the Middle East last November. It was only supposed to remain abroad until May, but wound up staying in foreign waters for far longer thanks to the Iran War. The experience was so bad that many of the ship’s 5,000 sailors wanted to kill themselves. Now, it is finally ending.
U.S. officials confirmed on Thursday that the USS Abraham Lincoln is heading home. The news comes as family members of Americans aboard the vessel have blown the whistle on its terrible conditions. It reportedly has moldy showers, scarce and terrible food, broken toilets, and no soap, deodorant, or toothpaste. Donald Trump, however, has brushed aside concerns about the men and women on the aircraft carrier, saying they actually have been stuck in the Middle East for “not nearly long enough.” That is rich coming from a man who has never served in the military.
The Japan-based USS George Washington has arrived in the region to replace the USS Lincoln. The latter will take roughly three weeks to return to California.
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Past Issues

Thursday, August 20th • ISSUE 448
Thu, August 20th
Americans Would Rather Live Near Nuclear Plants Than Data Centers
The Chernobyl disaster created 400 times the radiation as the Hiroshima nuke.

Wednesday, August 19th • ISSUE 447
Wed, August 19th
Why Is Congress Filled With Morons?
So many lawmakers are clueless. That is not an accident.

Tuesday, August 18th • ISSUE 446
Tue, August 18th
U.S. to Oversee Hamas Disarmament in Gaza
Why do we pretend Hamas has anything to do with America?

Monday, August 17th • ISSUE 445
Mon, August 17th
AOC Wilts Like a Flower in a Drought
Sandy Cortez is too weak to lead.

Friday, August 14th • ISSUE 444
Fri, August 14th
Jeffrey Toobin, of All People, Accuses Donald Trump of “Obscenity"
Toobin is definitely an expert on obscenity.

Thursday, August 13th • ISSUE 443
Thu, August 13th
The Iran War Is So Bad That Soldiers Want to Kill Themselves
American troops deserve better than globalist wars.

Wednesday, August 12th • ISSUE 442
Wed, August 12th
Gay Bars Stop Using Facial Recognition Software Amid Gay Backlash
We’re with the gays on this one.

Tuesday, August 11th • ISSUE 441
Tue, August 11th
Fauci Knew COVID Vaccine Could Cause Miscarriages
He wildly misled the public.

Monday, August 10th • ISSUE 440
Mon, August 10th
AOC Tells the World She Is Freezing Her Eggs
Too much information, lady.

Friday, August 7th • ISSUE 439
Fri, August 7th
Avocado Imports Are in Jeopardy
Did you know that avocados are technically a fruit?

Thursday, August 6th • ISSUE 438
Thu, August 6th
A Burrito Should Not Cost $20
Neocons are destroying the American Dream.

Wednesday, August 5th • ISSUE 437
Wed, August 5th